I had my son late in life. I am sure that God knew what He was doing! Prior to that time, I would have just been too selfish and too concerned about the little things. Who knew that a little hand could teach you so much!
While I was pregnant, a co-worker told me to be prepared for everything being spilled on me and "relieved" on me. Part of me laughed, and the other part was in horror! How could this fashionable woman ever allow that to happen? Me, of all people! I set forth to prove her wrong...but was I ever wrong!
There have been so many times in the short 6 years of my son's life where he certainly has fulfilled all...and more of what my co-worker predicted. I learned to always bring an extra change of clothes, for both him and me. I stopped fussing so much about being so utterly "put together" and started worrying more about that little hand who held mine so tightly. The same hands that would come running so happily toward me with big peanut butter kisses, which always left a trail on my clothing. There have been many times that I have simply had to laugh at the time and forethought that I put into getting dressed, only to have to change into something else quickly and haphazardly.
I remember reading the last letter of Erma Bombeck, and how it made a huge impact on me and still does. She was one of the funniest women and so full of life! Her book, "If life is a Bowl of Cherries, What am I doing in the Pits" was so funny and so true. Her last writing was titled, "If I Had My Life to Live Over".
It is so terribly sad to read, and yet, so true and profound. One of the many things that she says is that "I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains".
I remember reading this and thinking, how horrible that such a funny lady who seemed to live life so fully, had all of these regrets. I made a promise to myself that I would do the very best I could never to feel that way. Yet, I find I still take things too seriously, and lose my patience when I probably shouldn't. I worry about the little things, and forget to look at the big picture. Yes, I too am a victim of "The Human Condition".
All that you and me can ever do is to keep trying. Practice gratitude daily, stop and smell the roses. Remember that tomorrow is another day to work harder toward that goal. It is the life I am also creating for my son, as these are the memories I want him to have of his childhood with me. I am a work in progress, as we all are :-).
Peace and Grace to you.
