Fighting "The Boogie Man"!

I remember having many fears as a child. The nighttime magnified those fears, and added new ones! My son reminds me of these terrors as he deals with his own. Of course as an adult, I often want to laugh these fears away and simply tell him it's all in his imagination. However, they are very real to him. Thus, they are very real to me too.

There are several things that I have done to combat "The Boogie Man". My favorite one of all came from www.inkgarden.com. I was able to create a sweet pillowcase with the both of us on it. My little boy cherishes this pillowcase as he feels so much more secure knowing mommy is right there. Have someone take a similar photograph of you and your loved one, then make a pillow out of it!

Nightlights are a must! I actually have them in most rooms of our house. Definitely one in his room. They take the edge off of the darkness and light his way to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I also open the blinds and drapes to let the moon shine in. And yes, I close his closet door so the "Boogie Man" can't come out from in there :-).

The arsenal of stuffed animals are beside his bed. He calls them "his little family" :-). I include them all in our prayer time before he nods off to sleep, and I hug them all too. He surrounds himself with them and even sleeps directly on top of his favorite...a giant brown bear he calls "Bearie"!

I have checked on him every night since he moved to his own room. I give him kisses, pull the blankets back onto him on chilly nights, and off of him on warm ones. I also whisper directly into his ear. I just feel like there is a part of him that actually hears me subliminally :-). I tell him how much I love him, what a gift he is, how smart he is, and that I will always be there... no matter what.

Lastly, on very scary nights (thunderstorms, bad dreams, growing pains in his legs, etc), he absolutely knows there is an extra soft place to land right in Mommie's bed!

Christmas Memories...good and bad.

It is almost Christmas as my little boy reminds me daily. Awwwww, the sweet anticipation of a 6 year old who anxiously awaits Santa's arrival. Thankfully, I finally put up our tree last weekend. He was so afraid Santa would get confused and not know where to leave his presents! I assured him Santa was very smart and could probably find a good place even without the tree :-). However, I know the importance of this, and of all of these young memories he will hold with him forever.

This is also the week that my mother committed suicide so many years ago. I had just turned 16 and though my world was already upside down, it did a huge 360, never to go back again. If being 16 in an upside down world wasn't enough, I learned very quickly of the many other cruelties outside of my own house. Though already a very mature 16 year old, I aged 10 years very quickly. There were so many things that happened before, and after that time. The very same things that I hold with me forever too.

It is truly by God's grace that I have been able to give my little boy exactly what I did not get as a child. His world is full of love, and of security, and filled with the knowledge that he is cherished just because he is my child. He has always known from the moment the Doctor placed him gently on my chest, that he will always have a soft place to land. I've spent countless hours staring at him in complete awe of this miracle God has chosen to give to me.

The biggest fear that I had while pregnant, was that I would be abusive or that I would show my son the same messed up life my parents showed to me. I was actually terrified. And yet, it has been exactly the opposite as I wonder how anyone could ever harm a hair on that tiny head. The love you have for your child is so immeasurable and is such a natural driving force, you would never harm them. If anything, I suffer from trying to protect him from lifes cruelties...and sadly I know that I can not.

So, this Christmas will be another of many that will be beautiful and filled with love and laughter. My eyes will fill with tears just to hear his tiny footsteps running down the stairs to see what Santa has brought for him. He will tear each package open and exclaim to me how happy he is. He will show me everything, but the biggest thing he will show me is how a life can change for the better. He will sit on my lap, tell me he loves me so much, and that he is so happy. The very same things I never said as a girl, and never thought I would hear from my own unexpected miracle child.

May your Christmas be filled with all of lifes many blessings. I hope and pray that you can reflect on so many things, and that you can also find grace and peace in whatever your circumstances may be. Merry Christmas.

Peanut Butter Kisses

I had my son late in life. I am sure that God knew what He was doing! Prior to that time, I would have just been too selfish and too concerned about the little things. Who knew that a little hand could teach you so much!

While I was pregnant, a co-worker told me to be prepared for everything being spilled on me and "relieved" on me. Part of me laughed, and the other part was in horror! How could this fashionable woman ever allow that to happen? Me, of all people! I set forth to prove her wrong...but was I ever wrong!

There have been so many times in the short 6 years of my son's life where he certainly has fulfilled all...and more of what my co-worker predicted. I learned to always bring an extra change of clothes, for both him and me. I stopped fussing so much about being so utterly "put together" and started worrying more about that little hand who held mine so tightly. The same hands that would come running so happily toward me with big peanut butter kisses, which always left a trail on my clothing. There have been many times that I have simply had to laugh at the time and forethought that I put into getting dressed, only to have to change into something else quickly and haphazardly.

I remember reading the last letter of Erma Bombeck, and how it made a huge impact on me and still does. She was one of the funniest women and so full of life! Her book, "If life is a Bowl of Cherries, What am I doing in the Pits" was so funny and so true. Her last writing was titled, "If I Had My Life to Live Over". It is so terribly sad to read, and yet, so true and profound. One of the many things that she says is that "I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains".

I remember reading this and thinking, how horrible that such a funny lady who seemed to live life so fully, had all of these regrets. I made a promise to myself that I would do the very best I could never to feel that way. Yet, I find I still take things too seriously, and lose my patience when I probably shouldn't. I worry about the little things, and forget to look at the big picture. Yes, I too am a victim of "The Human Condition".

All that you and me can ever do is to keep trying. Practice gratitude daily, stop and smell the roses. Remember that tomorrow is another day to work harder toward that goal. It is the life I am also creating for my son, as these are the memories I want him to have of his childhood with me. I am a work in progress, as we all are :-).

Peace and Grace to you.

Building your child's self-esteem

My son is 6 now. My biggest fear while pregnant with him was that I would "mess him up" given my own childhood experiences. I feared that I would be exactly the same to him as my own parents were to me. Thank God that this fear has long since passed! In fact, I wonder how any parent could say or do harmful things to thier children? The love you feel for them just eminates in your actions and you simply cherish them naturally. My son is such a happy, confident, and well-balanced individual!

There are many things that I have done along the way to help build my son's self esteem and assure him of my unconditional love for him. Especially in today's world, I feel that this is necessary. The following list is just a few of the many:

* Spend one-on-one time with him daily. Even if you can only find a few minutes in your busy schedule, and believe me, mine is busy!

* Truly listen to what he is telling me. Ask him about his day, how school was, who his friends are, what challenges he may have had that day?, etc.

* Pray together especially before bedtime. Hold his hand while doing so, and take turns saying the prayer.

* Before prayer at night, I always ask him what was the best thing that happened to him that day?

* I talk to him when I go and check on him in the middle of the night. Yes, it may sound odd, but I do believe that even while sleeping people have some recollection of what they hear :-). I make sure to remind him how much I love him, what a good boy he is, that he is the best gift God ever gave me, etc.

* Whenever he gives me a hard time about something or we are in disagreement, I explain to him my feelings and why I am upset with him. I look him in the eye and calmly state my reasons. I listen to his also. I feel that even children need to know that they have some ground to stand on and the reasons for certain decisions.

* It goes without saying that I continually hug him, tell him I love him, compliment him sincerely, and remind him of his worth to me.

* I let him pick out his clothes. Yes, there are times I have to change his attire, but for the most part he actually does a pretty good job!

* Spend time coloring with him, playing basketball with him, taking walks together, watching good movies together, dancing together, etc.

* Asking him his opinion on things, then asking him why he feels that way?

* Teaching him about money and savings. Letting him know the value of hard work, and being able to earn money of his own that he happily keeps in his piggy bank and is so proud to have.

* Letting him make choices on things: where to eat, what movie to watch, what activity to do, etc (within reason of course).

These are only a few of the things that I make sure to do consistently. I'm sure some of them are things you do as well. If not, you may want to try a few of them and see what happens :-). My son knows he is loved unconditionally, he is valued, and that he is safe. He also knows however, that I am still his mother and the main decisions will always fall on me to decide. This is a boundary that stays consistent. Yet, we have very few power struggles due to the trust and the confidence I have built in him.

Happy parenting to all of you!

Photo Album Coupon Book

I have finally finished my giant coupon book, and my smaller carry along. I made both out of photo albums and it was actually fun...and easy too! For the bigger one, I found one that holds 3 photos on each side, and also has room to write something next to it. I then divided my sections up by categories like Dairy, Cereals (Adult/Child), drinks, frozen, health & beauty, etc. You get the picture. I then made a smaller book out a 4x6 photo album that can be carried with you. Now, I separate the coupons I am going to use into that smaller holder so it is ready for my shopping trip. I first look at the local sales circulars to see what is on sale that I use (doesn't make sense to buy things you are not going to use just because they are on sale...unless you donate them to a good cause of course). After previewing sales, I take out the coupons that match what I need now that is on sale, and put it into my smaller holder. That is what I'll carry with me, but I always leave the bigger one in the car just in case there are coupons I end up needing.

Gotta love Publix and Harris Teeter. They are sooooo great with coupons. They will also both take the Piggly Wiggly $5.00 off of a $30.00 purchase coupons! Harris Teeters will double and sometimes even triple your coupons. You may not have much time to do this, however, if you look at it like money in your hands, you'll hate to pass up the opportunity to save hundreds of dollars continually!

Oh, on a final note, please be honest folks! I know a gal (not mentioning any names), who told me she shops at the Commissary and uses any coupons she has on hand, even if she knows she's not buying that item. She tells me they don't check your items so they just scan the coupons and take them. Another gal I know, repeatedly makes copies of one time only use coupons and even takes a stack of newspapers out of the machine on Sunday Morning, though she only pays for one. C'mon folks!! Don't know about you, but in my book that sounds pretty equal to stealing now doesn't it? Not nice. That kind of stuff is bad any way you look at it. Let's hope their kids aren't around to see them do it either. Hate to think of the example that creates for them. And really, dishonesty just comes back to you anyway in some form or another. OK, I'll get off that subject now.

You are going to save money and it's not hard to do at all. Hardest part is just getting started in the coupon and savings world. Once your there...you'll never want to go back!!